Getting Good With People
How to meet women, talk to them, ask them out and build a real relationship. 24 short video lectures for men 18 and over, free. No sign-up: scroll down and press play. Built from peer-reviewed research and government and legal sources, not pickup tricks, and taught by Tanya.
Module 1 · Where you're starting
Why this is hard right now, and it isn't your fault or hers
The honest numbers on young men and dating in the US and Canada, why dating apps leave men with too few messages and women with too many, and why a hard market is not a verdict on you.
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What the online gurus get wrong
How influencer content reaches young men so fast, what it's linked to, and three of its favourite claims checked against the research: the alpha wolf, the eighty-twenty rule, and 'women want jerks'.
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What women actually respond to
What people say they want in a partner versus who they are actually drawn to in person, why kindness and character top the list for both sexes, and why time is on your side.
WatchModule 2 · Becoming someone worth meeting
Your body, your look, your space
What the research says about fitness, smell, grooming, style and height, which of those you can actually change, and why the best reason to take care of your body is how it makes you feel.
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A life of your own
Why direction and effort matter more than money, the friendship recession among men, and why friends, including women who are just friends, come before a girlfriend.
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Nerves: what actually works
Why self-esteem slogans, affirmations and power poses don't fix nerves, what does (cognitive behavioural therapy and gradual practice), and free help you can use today.
WatchModule 3 · Where people actually meet
Join something that meets every week
Why friendships take hours, not minutes, why simply showing up again and again builds liking, and how to pick a weekly group and stick with it long enough for people to know you.
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Friends of friends, work and parties
How American couples met in nineteen ninety-five versus twenty seventeen, why friends of friends and parties still matter, and the lines to respect if you're interested in a coworker. General information, not legal advice.
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Dating apps, used well
What the data say about dating apps, why attention on them is so lopsided, why other people should pick your photos, and how to use apps as one tool among several without letting them wear you down.
WatchModule 4 · Talking to people
Starting a conversation: there's no magic line
Why people enjoy talking to strangers more than they expect, why a plain hi beats any clever line, and how to start a conversation in a way that feels safe for her, with an easy way out.
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Keeping it going: questions and follow-ups
Why follow-up questions make people like you more and win second dates, why a slightly deeper conversation is less awkward than you fear, and what the famous thirty-six questions really showed.
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You're liked more than you think
The liking gap: after a conversation, people consistently underestimate how much the other person liked them. What that means for your nerves, and its hard limit: liking is not romantic interest, and it never overrides a no.
WatchModule 5 · Interest, asking, and rejection
Reading interest: ask, don't guess
Why romantic signals are noisy, why men tend to read friendliness as interest, mostly because they project their own feelings, and why a plain question beats weeks of guessing.
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Asking her out, plainly
Why playing it cool backfires, why interest in her specifically works better than interest in everyone, how to ask for a clear plan, and the truth about texting rules: there's no research behind any of them.
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Taking a no well
Why rejection stings, why saying no is hard for her too, how common persistence after a no really is, where it becomes a legal problem, and a simple line that lets you leave with your dignity.
WatchModule 6 · Dates
The first date
What actually makes a first date go well, from follow-up questions to feeling similar, why new beats scary, and the simple safety habits that protect both of you.
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After the date
How to follow up after a date, why there's no timing rule and playing it cool backfires, how to read a fade honestly, and how to let it go without taking it out on yourself or her.
WatchModule 7 · Consent, respect and safety
Consent, plainly
What consent means under Canadian law and the Supreme Court's key cases, why there is no implied consent, why your own drinking is no excuse, and why the affirmative, ongoing standard is the one to use everywhere in the United States.
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Lines you never cross
Where heartbreak turns into a crime: repeated contact after a no or a block, tracking a location, coercive control, sending explicit images nobody asked for, and sharing a partner's intimate images, including fakes.
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Scams and sextortion
How romance scams and pig-butchering scams work, why sextortion targets young men, exactly what to do if someone threatens you, and two quick checks that catch most fake profiles.
WatchModule 8 · From dating to a relationship
What actually makes relationships work
What a study of more than eleven thousand couples found really predicts a happy relationship: commitment, appreciation, a good sex life, believing your partner is happy, and how you handle conflict. Not finding a perfect person.
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Fighting fair
The four horsemen as useful ideas, why the famous divorce-prediction claim doesn't hold up, how to respond to good news, why small moments matter, and why paying attention beats any technique.
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Attachment, jealousy and space
Why attachment is two sliding scales rather than a fixed type, what the book Attached gets right and wrong, how jealousy differs from control, and why controlling a partner is now a crime in Canada.
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Myth round-up and your ninety-day plan
Ten popular dating myths checked in one sweep, a simple ninety-day plan for meeting people and building friendships, and where to get help if things feel heavy.
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