Lines you never cross

Connor is twenty-seven and sells insurance. Eight months in, Sarah ended it, and she's blocked his number. It's late, and he's thinking about making a new account, just to explain. Their phones still share locations. And he still has photos she sent him when they were together. Connor isn't a bad guy. He's a hurt one, standing near some lines.

Before we start, this lecture is general information, not legal advice. Laws differ by province and state, and they change. For your own situation, talk to a lawyer or a legal clinic.

So the question is, which of these is just heartbreak, and which is a line he can't cross?

Start with harassment. Canada's Criminal Code makes it a crime to repeatedly contact someone, follow them, watch their home or work, or, since a change in twenty twenty-six, monitor their location, when that could reasonably make them fear for their safety. Being reckless counts, not just meaning harm. The maximum is ten years. New accounts after a block can cross that line.

Second, control. Canada has passed a new crime for a pattern of coercive or controlling conduct toward an intimate partner, and it takes effect by June twenty twenty-eight at the latest. Controlling a partner's money, phone, friends or movements is serious harm, not just a red flag, and some of it, like tracking her location or repeated unwanted contact, can already be criminal harassment. Checking her phone, deciding who she sees, making her ask for money. That's the pattern.

Third, pictures she didn't ask for. In a Pew survey, over half of American women under fifty who'd dated online had received sexual messages or images they didn't ask for. Canada has no specific crime for this yet, but sending one can still break other laws, depending on the facts. In Texas it's a crime. In California, she can sue. Everywhere, it gets you blocked.

So never send an explicit image unless she has clearly asked for that specific thing. Not a hint, not a guess. A clear ask.

Fourth, pictures she sent you. They stay hers. In Canada, sharing an intimate image without the person's consent is a crime, with up to ten years. Since July twenty twenty-six, threatening to share one is a crime too, even if you never do. Fake nude images of a real person, made with artificial intelligence, now count as well. In the United States, a federal law from twenty twenty-five makes publishing them a crime, fakes included.

Now, her side. Sarah blocked Connor because she needed it to be over. When a new account shows up, she doesn't read an apology. She reads that blocking him didn't work, and that he's still watching. In that same Pew survey, forty-three percent of women under fifty who dated online said someone kept contacting them after they said no. She knows how some of those stories go.

Let's change one fact. Say Connor never sends a thing. He just leaves her location on, and checks it every night to see where she is. It feels private to him. But monitoring someone's location is now listed among the kinds of conduct that can be criminal harassment. Turn it off.

The mistake guys make is thinking it only counts if you mean harm. You can feel like the hurt one and still be the one crossing the line. The law looks at what you did and how it would reasonably land on her.

Here's the rule, in one breath. A no or a block ends contact, her pictures stay hers, you never send one she didn't ask for, and you never control a partner.

This week, check your phone. Turn off location sharing with any ex, and delete any intimate images an ex sent you. If the breakup hurts, call a friend instead of her. Next time, scams and sextortion.