Alcohol and drink spiking

A quick note first. This lecture talks about drink spiking and sexual assault, in plain words, nothing graphic. Pause any time you need to.

Kayla is twenty-one, out at a Calgary bar with her friends Maya and Jo, celebrating Maya's new job. A friendly guy at the next table says congratulations and offers to buy the round. What are you having? I'll bring them over. Kayla likes him. She also remembers a video about pills slipped into drinks, and suddenly she isn't sure what to say.

So here's the question. What's the real risk on a night out, and how do you stay social without handing over your safety?

Start with the surprise. The United States Office on Women's Health says people who use drugs to commit sexual assault most often use alcohol, alone or with other drugs. Other drugs do exist. A British Columbia government health page describes one, called GHB, as a clear liquid that looks like water and leaves the body quickly. Another, flunitrazepam, is a tasteless tablet that dissolves in a drink.

The same office gives practical advice. Don't accept drinks from other people. If someone offers, go with them to order. Open your own drinks, skip the punch bowl, and look out for your friends. And the law is clear. In Canada, someone too drunk to be capable can't consent, and his own drunkenness is no excuse.

Why this matters. In the newest national survey from the United States government, collected in twenty twenty-three and twenty twenty-four, about eight in a hundred American women said that at some point someone had sex with them when they were too drunk, high or drugged to consent. That is rape. Responsibility sits entirely with the person who did it.

If you think you or a friend was drugged, call nine one one, or have a trusted friend take you to an emergency room. Ask for a urine test early, because some of these drugs leave the body fast. If you can, don't shower or change before you're checked. Afterwards, a sexual assault centre in Canada, or the National Sexual Assault Hotline in the United States, can support you, whether or not you report.

Now, his side. The guy offering a round probably just means congratulations. A decent man doesn't mind walking to the bar with you, or letting you order your own. Our companion course for men tells guys to keep their drinking light and to remember that someone too drunk can't consent. A man who keeps pushing drinks, or steers a very drunk woman away from her friends, isn't being generous. That's the pattern to notice.

Let's change one fact. An hour later, Jo seems far drunker than two drinks could explain. She's slurring and can barely stand. Now it isn't a maybe. Kayla and Maya stay with her, tell the staff, and call nine one one. They don't wait to be sure, and nobody leaves Jo alone, or with someone they just met.

The trap to avoid is blaming yourself, or a friend. It's easy to think, I had a few drinks, so it's on me. Or, nothing was slipped in, so it doesn't count. Neither is true. Having a drink is never permission. The person who takes advantage is the only one at fault.

Here's the rule, in one breath. Order and open your own drinks, stick with your friends, get help fast if someone seems suddenly far too drunk, and remember the blame always belongs to the person who did it.

This week, before your next night out, agree on one plan with your friends. We arrive together, we leave together, and nobody gets left behind. Next time, sextortion, intimate images and deepfakes.