Elder abuse, power-of-attorney misuse and scams

Before we start, a note. This lecture talks about the abuse and neglect of older people, including by family. If that's near to home for you, take it slowly. The help lines are on the course page too.

Maria Santos is fifty-three, a personal support worker in Barrie, from a Filipino family. Her father, Ernesto, is eighty, a retired machinist who beats everyone at cards. Last month he wired two thousand dollars to a caller who said his grandson was in jail. And her brother Paolo, who holds their dad's power of attorney, won't show her the bank statements.

So here's the question. When does a family money problem become elder abuse, what's a crime, and who do you call, even when the person you're worried about is your own brother? This is general information, not legal advice. Talk to a lawyer or a legal clinic.

Ontario's guide for seniors lists five kinds of abuse: emotional, financial, physical, sexual, and neglect. Elder Abuse Prevention Ontario uses the World Health Organization's definition, and its key phrase is a relationship where there is an expectation of trust. A stranger on the phone is fraud. A son who helps himself to the account is abuse of trust.

The law is clear. Under the Criminal Code, someone holding a power of attorney who fraudulently sells, mortgages or disposes of the person's property is committing theft. And under Ontario's Substitute Decisions Act, an attorney must act honestly for the person's benefit, keep accounts, can be personally liable for losses, and can be ordered to show their accounts to a judge.

Now, who to call. Immediate danger: 911. Theft, fraud or assault: the police. For advice and referrals, the Seniors Safety Line: 1-866-299-1011. Free, around the clock, in more than two hundred languages, and worried family can call too. For scams, the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre: 1-888-495-8501.

By law, the Public Guardian and Trustee must investigate when someone who may be incapable is at risk of losing much of their property, or of harm or neglect. Its line is on the course page. You don't need proof to call anyone. You need a worry.

Now, their side. Ernesto knows he was fooled, and he's ashamed. He may also be afraid: of losing his son, of looking helpless, of what happens if he speaks up. The side that matters here is the person being harmed; what needs protecting is him, not the secret. Try: Dad, has anyone been pressuring you about money?

Let's change one fact. The person taking Ernesto's cash isn't family; it's a worker at his long-term care home. By law the home must investigate immediately and notify the ministry. You can also call the Family Support and Action Line, 1-866-434-0144, then the Patient Ombudsman. For a retirement home, call the regulator.

The mistake families make is keeping it in the family. It's understandable: nobody wants to call the police on a brother, or embarrass Dad. But silence protects the wrong person. You don't have to decide whether it's a crime; that isn't your job. Call the Seniors Safety Line first, describe what you've seen, and ask what your options are.

Here's the rule, in one breath. Danger means 911, a crime means the police, and for everything else the Seniors Safety Line helps you work out what comes next.

This week, save the Seniors Safety Line and the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre in your phone and, with permission, in your parent's. If someone else holds the power of attorney, ask kindly when your parent last saw a statement.

Next time, caregiver burnout: recognising strain in yourself, and the kinds of help that actually have evidence behind them.